Mixed Feeling Monday


I read a blog post the other week that mentioned “If you run out of things to say on your blog, write about yourself”. I don’t know. I’ve got a folder full of video clips that I can compress and another couple full of random things to post, but for some reason nothing seems all that exciting tonight. It’s Monday and it’s going to be a long week. Big production deadline for Friday, I have a slew of things to finish on my own, going to vegas this weekend for a bachelor party, a pile of bills to pay and nothing left in my fridge to eat other then some frozen food momma gave me a few weeks ago.

I got home this evening and scored a parking spot right in-front of my place. It’s pretty funny how I rush to get home from work these days because those 10 extra minutes I may take to stop and take a picture could equal those same 10 minutes of walking from my car once I park and lug my camera and gear back home. Sort of depressing but still as annoying as always. I even got a call that my realty company is FINALLY going to work on my bathroom shower today - only told them about it 11 months ago, pretty good timing. Yea, waited all day with the hopes to come back to a mildew-free bathroom and a wall that’s not peeling only to realize no one showed. Lets make that 11months and counting.

Walked in the door and as normal, plopped in my chair and turned on the monitors to check my email. Funny, but the last thing I wanted to do tonight was stare at my screens. Instead I poked around some shows I’d recorded on my DVR and enjoyed an evening of HD which I pay way too much than I should for - the bill came in today’s mail to remind me of that. After a few hours of the tube and my last burrito from Del Taco which was sitting in the fridge calling my name I figured it was worth Eiffel10 minutes to browse a few flickr photos and take a trip down memory lane from the archives on my trip to europe. Immediately I fired up a browser and went to my paris webcam only to find this image which brought sort of a wierd and nostalgic feeling back. I’ve talked a lot about it in the past, all of which I mean dearly, but man do I miss traveling. I must have the bug again. Probably because I’m tired of my apartment and I have the vacation time to kill. It’s rough knowing that life so different that’s so far on a map is really so close I can’t stand it. Even if just for a weekend, sometimes I think it’s worth it. Something about that image that really got to me tonight. Maybe just the color, or maybe the fact that I happend to pull it up just at the right moment (that perfect time of the day), or maybe because I remember seeing it first hand and think about how much better my life has gotten since… all valid points.

The more I think about it, the more I realize I’m trying too hard with photography. Sometimes I feel like I have to impress everyone but myself so at the end of the day I still don’t have a style or a plan for who/what and how I want to shoot. I spend all my time touching up all these photos to get them “perfect” in my eye, and then I’ll do something like run a black/white filter by mistake and realize it was better that way all the time.

Eyes

Thumbing through some of my favorites, I keep coming back to this shot taken by a photog in my contacts a few weeks ago. The photo alone is striking enough, but reading the story about this guy posted below it just amazes me. Also reminds me of the time I was shooting a couple in a park for their wedding and this sketchy dude was just watching my every move with the camera. He started following me and acting covertly, and then as I walked by him he started to talk to me, asking about my rig, lenses, if I thought I should use direct/bounce for the flash and what kind of format the shots are in. Before I knew it I had stopped talking about myself and what I was doing and started listening to him tell me about his days as a photographer. The man was a war journalist that worked for Associated Press and dropped in with troops on Vietnam. He told me about how he shot a cover of Time Magazine, and how it changed his life. Told me he hasn’t even touched a camera in 10 years, he can barley afford to live let alone do the one thing that used to make him happy. Told me that talking to me about photography was the highlight of his week, and funny enough, I think it was the highlight of mine too. Goes to show you can never know who hides behind a pair of sunglasses.

There’s a lot of things we take for granted in this world, and I think feeling taboo about society and the guy/gal next to you is one of them. I’m going to try to beat that one way or the other, and maybe it will help put one more thing behind me I still have yet to discover and accomplish. I’ve made a lot of decisions already in life to simplify my stress and enjoy a little more. I think it’s time I start to take my own advice, and take it easier, think a little simpler and not look so hard to what’s in front of me. I’m going to bed, at 11pm, for the first time in a while… and it’s a start.


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